I need a new roommate, but looking for one is even worse than a date – Alexander Brown

WG – who washes and who dries? Credit: H Armstrong Roberts/Retrofile/Getty Images

Firstly, I should make it clear that this is an amicable breakup, he hasn’t met anyone unless moving to work is an overly sophisticated ruse.

And it hurts, really hurts, to lose someone who was not just a roommate but my one constant throughout the pandemic.

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When we moved into the apartment in February 2020 we had about a good month before Covid struck and all we had was each other.

Also, we had only met twice before, which potentially made a bad situation even worse.

But it was great. He’s clean, funny, doesn’t leave his dishes behind, and hates the same people I do.

He waters the plants inside, I do those on the balcony, I wash, he dries, and we’re both equally lazy putting away our laundry.

I tried to play golf, he acted like he didn’t mind checking my texts, and we made lists of restaurants we’d go to when it was all over.

It was nice and with different working hours there is a closeness between us but also the space to never be intrusive.

But now I have to get back out there and search online to find someone I might have to make small talk with every day.

It’s a big gamble, and like dating, I’ve been hurt before.

I’ve lived with people who throw up in the bath and abandon it, use my food without replacing it, or even invite friends to move in for months without asking.

Obviously I don’t own the house, but after living here for so long it feels like home and I want to find someone to take care of it.

Moving is absolutely terrible, but trying to find something new is even worse.

Give an estate agent your details and your budget and you’ll get calls every day offering you a building that isn’t where you wanted it, for £300 more than you budgeted and usually has more mold than windows.

The burden of being part of the generation that doesn’t own their property means I can’t just buy my own space, I have to share it until I find someone who loves me enough to split the bill.

So I’m trying to stick around, having created a Spare Room profile, something I now vet more relentlessly than Hinge did in the days after a breakup.

And it’s exhausting to browse the internet, look at someone’s pictures and a message, and then decide whether or not I want to see them every day.

It’s so much worse than dating, with even more pressure.

That’s not hoping to meet someone and see what happens, accepting it can be a nice thing that doesn’t have to go anywhere.

I can’t pretend to be content on my own and wait to meet someone naturally.

It invites them back, but with a thousand pounds plus an entry fee, knowing that if I decide I don’t like them they’ll still stay.

I can end a relationship if it doesn’t work out, you can’t ghost someone with an 18 month contract.

Searching for a roommate online is all the time consuming of dating apps and not fun.

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